I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
