whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize