I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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