apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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