Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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