I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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