A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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