She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
