Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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