I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
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