i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
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You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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