hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
