Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
