Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
