I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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