Dual....:-)
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
