the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize