like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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