I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
