be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
