It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
When are your genitals available?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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