i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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