I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
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Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
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I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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