JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize