i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
