when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
