? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
