They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
operation harelip BJ is a go
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
