Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
