therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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