I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
