I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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