she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
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you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
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I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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