Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
