Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
