i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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