I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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