Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
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