She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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