So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
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She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
this will be a night to untag.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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