I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
