I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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