I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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