My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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