So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
