I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
