hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
