just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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