Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
