Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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