can u get pink eye on your cock?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
