I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
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All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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