Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
