after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
