oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
