i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
