i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
